John Brunner by Sanctuary in the Sky

Author:Sanctuary in the Sky [Sky, Sanctuary in the]
Language: eng
Format: epub, mobi
Published: 2011-08-26T21:23:42+00:00

XI

Carrying his mask, Vykor walked with head downcast for what seemed to be ages. Echoes of his words rang in his head, beat at the edges of his consciousness like waves eroding a rocky shore. His brain throbbed to the crazy pounding of his heart; his breath came arid went in racking gasps.

His lips moved in a senseless repetition of a self-condemning sentence: you must have been out of your mind, you must have been out of your mind, you must have been out of your mind . . .

At length he sat down on a rocky slope among the foothills of the Mountains and stared back across an inlet of the Ocean towards the City. But it was an unseeing stare. Behind his eyes there were pictures of other things—of his world, Majkosi, of its people, of the past which should also have been his future and which he had thrown away in a fit of anger.

There was nothing he could do about it. He could not go to the Cathrodyne authorities and plead for forgiveness— the stem-faced Cathrodynes did not forgive such behavior. He would suffer, first, and then die. And dying did not seem to be worth it.

Somehow, he would cling to life. But his life would be here, at Waystation.

Maybe—he caught at a fugitive gleam of hope—maybe he could still be of some use. Maybe he could become like

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Larwik, agent of a disease gnawing at Cathrodyne supremacy, although the foul nature of Larwik's work had revolted him.

He remembered Majkosi in an agony of sorrow—remembered the dull industrial town where he had been born and grown up; remembered the people who wore drab clothing and had to step aside into the gutter when arrogant Cathrodyne officials came down the sidewalk, and who still managed to preserve a spark of independence; remembered the face of his father and the pride it had shown when he learned that his son was acting as a courier for the revolutionary movement in which he had himself for years taken part. . .

Majkosi, he found himself thinking, was a grey world— not of its nature, but because Cathrodyne domination cast a shadow over even the brightest day.

He would not see it again.

The chill finality of what had happened finally froze the pain in his mind to a mere ache. He debated with himself what he should do. Was it worth the risk to go back to his ship and get his belongings? He thought not; Ligmer had been so angry he had probably already notified the Cathrodyne authorities, and if he stepped outside Glaithe protection even for a moment he would be seized and jailed.

A group of Cathrodyne youths emerged from the Ocean within a short distance of him, laughing and spluttering, and began to play tag up the slopes of the foothills. Their gaiety mocked him, and by contrast his misery seemed that much more insupportable. He wished he could shout to them, tell them what he was suffering—but even if

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